Not Always the "Yes" Boi: When Writers Want You to Enlighten Them

Consulting isn’t just about making writers better students, it’s about making them better writers. For the most part, the writers I’ve worked with over the last semester and a half have had the same vision for themselves as I have – to figure out the writing process and work through it. But once in a while, there are those silver-tongued, manipulative gems who want not just your input, but your brain added to their work.

“You can enlighten me,” they’ll say. “I can learn from you. You are a feminist with so much knowledge about gender discrimination.”

True.

“You understand these theories better than I do and since you are doing your Master’s in Women’s Studies, you can analyze these things better.”

Possibly true.

“So I’ve done my best on this paper and I’m hoping you can add some more information to it. If you help me, I know can get a good grade.”

False.

It’s easy to get taken in by the flattery. I’ve found myself falling for it often enough that I now use the rouse to get my writers to engage more with their work. But being on the receiving end as a tutor isn’t pleasant in any way. I find myself caught in a bind where I need to be polite and professional without shutting down my writer. How do you let writers know that you’re trying to help them help themselves without shutting them down?

Not a simple question, but here’s my tactic. I usually inform the writer that I am happy to give them reading material on anything I may (seem) to know more about. Usually, they don’t want to do the extra reading so they come back with the quintessential “why don’t you just tell me?” Challenge accepted. “True, I could. But topics like this are usually very subjective and up to interpretation but so-and-so has critical insight on the very subject you are addressing, so that’s definitely something you should read.” Segue accomplished. After a little tug-of-war, if things aren’t going anywhere I resort to a more serious approach. “This is a Writing Studio; we’re supposed to be working on the writing process. I can’t really be tutoring you on a topic of interest.” As can be imagined this doesn’t sit very well with writers, so I follow up with the fact that the only reason I know what I know is because I’ve done the readings I recommend. So asking me to add to the paper isn’t really fair to me because I’m not getting the grade. Fortunately, so far this approach has worked wonders. While writers still leave with a prickly after burn, they’re quick to recognize that they are asking for too much.

There’s a world of difference between asking for help and feeling entitled to it. I keep this in mind. Often I have to remind myself of this, especially under such circumstances. Sometimes, students think that writing studios are supposed to help with the piece itself. It helps to clarify that we really are only supposed to help with the process of writing it. And if they expect more, well we’d love to help you, but tough luck (and good luck)!

By Sam Obeid, MA in Women's and Gender Studies